Just for Laughs

Michael Johnson, the Olympic gold medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said: "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here - no denim". Michael was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson". "Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

Last year I entered the "New York City marathon". I finished last. It was embarrassing. And the guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?". I replied: "Do you want to know?" and I dropped out.

We work out too much. We waste time. A friend of mine runs marathons. He always talks about this "Runner's high". But he has to go twenty-six miles for it. That's why I smoke and drink. I get the same feeling from a flight of stairs.

A runner asks his wife: "What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?". "What I love most about you" - responded the man's wife - "is your enormous sense of humor".

Deciding to take up running, the man was astounded by the wide selection of running shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of running shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk: "What is this little pocket thing here on the side for?". And the clerk: "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've run too far".

A school teacher asked a student, "John, will you please conjugate the verb 'to go' for the class?". The kid began, "I go... um... you go... ehmm... he goes...". "How about a little faster?", asks the teacher. And the kid, "Sure! I run, you run, she runs..."

One man's hobby was running, he spent all his weekends on the park trails, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the park as usual. It was still dark, cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes" she replied "but my idiot husband still went running!"